Claire. Pt. 04: Nadia’s Thoughts

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Inside, Nadia’s mind was spinning. She’s always felt too boring, too awkward, too invisible. Men swipe right, ghost her, drift away. Part of her envies how certain Claire sounds — she’s just decided what she is. She is proud to be addicted to porn.

There’s no confusion. But Nadia can’t see herself like that. She wants something — romance, touch, a hand to hold. But she’s so bad at finding it that part of her wonders if maybe Claire is right: maybe it’s easier to just give up on people entirely. Can porn really provide the things that Claire is saying?

Nadia finally asks, “Are you happy? Like, really?”

Claire smiles, and for a second Nadia sees the dancing darkness behind her eyes — the flicker of someone who sleeps in a cave of flickering flesh and moans. A pervert. A deviant. Something more than human. But the smile is steady and wide and..different. “Yeah. I am,” Claire said in a sultry voice.

Nadia nods slowly. Unblinking. A weight of slight anxiety. She’s processing. She thought she knew Claire.. All this time, she only knew what Claire was giving her. Not who she really… was.

“I guess if it makes you happy… I mean, you do you, right?” Nadia tries to sound normal. Supportive. They finished their dinner with an uneasy tension and small talk. Claire was able to get Nadia to crack a genuine smile. They said their goodbyes and parted ways. Claire hastily went back to her world of porn and Nadia took her time driving back to her empty apartment.

On her drive home, she thinks about her nights alone — her cold bed, her unopened Tinder chats. She wonders what it would feel like to choose the kind of self isolation Claire has found.. the feeling of leaning into it instead of fighting it.

She shakes it off, tries to tell herself escort bursa she’s not like Claire. She wants to believe she still wants warmth, real touch, a partner who stays. But part of her wonders if that makes her weaker — if maybe she’s the lost one, drifting through life without the courage to commit to something. She really don’t have much passion for anything in her life.

Meanwhile, Claire goes home, slips out of her “normal clothes,” peels off her bra, and slides under her projector’s glow. The naked flesh before her is her comfort. Watching sexual acts 24/7 is natural for her. Porn addiction is natural for her. As she breathes slowly, she feels the familiar tingle in her pussy that reminds her she’s home. Watching porn as much as possible is essential to her existence. This is her truth and her reality. Claire lives to worship porn; and she confessed to her best friend.

She wonders if Nadia will ever come over. But she knows this is too much for her right now. She was the fear and worry in her eyes. Anyone that is not in the lifestyle of gooning would be shocked.

However, the moans of porn were commanding her focus and attention. She couldn’t help it. The thoughts fade quickly as she starts to touch herself. She’s been masturbating daily for years and this feeling never went away. She settled into a good baseline of constant porn addicted pleasure a while ago. She used to chase the high, but now she just savors the moment. Slowly approaching the goonstate with practice and discipline only years of porn consumption can bring.

As she draws circles around her clit, she waits for her pussy to get wet and needy. She loves the feeling of hearing her pussy start to make those familiar wet moist smacking noises for porn. eskort bursa Claire slowly closes her eyes as Goddess Porn plays above her — her soft cocoon of endless wanting, no humans needed. Just more screens, lube, and Porn.

Moist. Aroused. Bliss. Peace.

All be cause of pornography.

Meanwhile, Nadia just got home. She sets her purse on her tiny kitchen counter, flicks on the lamp, and sits on the edge of her couch, phone in hand.

The confession from Claire loops in her head:

I’m pornosexual. It’s enough. I’m happy. She didn’t know porn addiction could even be a ‘sexual orientation.’ but here she is scrolling the internet reading about it.

She pulls up her laptop — the same cheap one she’s used for spreadsheets and job searches. She hesitates. She’s watched porn before, sure — in passing, on her phone late at night, more curiosity than devotion. But this time feels different. This time, it feels like she’s opening a door to a world that Claire lives and thrives in.

She types in a site. Clicks something random that caught her eye. It was a young woman moaning softly through those tinny laptop speakers. She was using a dildo and sensually fucking herself in total peace. Nadia shifts, curls her toes. She tries to feel something bigger — some spark that Claire must live inside all the time. “If this is how Claire gets pleasure alone, maybe I can too,” Nadia thought.

For the first time, it feels… not really horny, but possible to get horny. A way to be wanted, even if it’s just pixels. She decided to feed her curiosity, flicking through clips she never would have watched before. She was on a mission to learn more about this world. She wanted to feel good about something. If people didn’t work then maybe this screen with naked people will.

She watched a few hours that night. — soft stuff, messy stuff, people whispering ‘you want this, don’t you?’ Her chest aches with something that feels almost like envy. However, she was slightly aroused. She at least felt something watching porn. However she was anxious. She still believed in human connection, but her reality is that she never really felt wanted.

She continues her porn studies for a few days. Unknowing to her, every moment she spends with porn is slowly rewiring her brain. Event though shes not getting intense sexual responses yet, porn is slowly changing her thinking. It’s for the better anyway. She doesn’t know it yet, but her body will soon follow once the mind accepts this new reality.

A week later, Nadia texts Claire.

“I tried watching porn few times last week.”

Claire seeing the notification literally jumped at her phone to respond.

“How did you like it? Did it make you feel good?” Claire typed almost too frantically.

Nadia types back: “Yeah. It was… interesting.”

Claire calls her immediately, voice soft and urgent, but calm.

“What did you watch? Did it feel good? Do you want help finding better stuff?”

Nadia laughs awkwardly. “I mean… I don’t know. It was just porn.”

But Claire is insistent — gentle, persuasive.

“It’s not ‘just porn.’ You have to find your stream — the stuff that feels like it was made for you. That is if you really want to understand my lifestyle.”

Nadia hesitated. ‘Lifestyle.’ She paused at that idea.. the thought that watching porn for hours everyday is a lifestyle. She did watch it a few times already. It was something new and for some reason she was not bored or disgusted. She was planning to watch more porn anyway that day. She she wanted to learn what Claire feels with porn.

After a brief silence, she decided she said “Yes.”

Claire was now on a mission to get her friend addicted to porn.

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